College is full of new experiences, challenges, and opportunities for growth. It is also a time when many students experience increased stress, anxiety, depression, or substance-related concerns.

Sometimes, the person struggling isn’t you.

It might be your roommate.

A teammate.

A classmate.

A close friend.

Knowing how to recognize when someone may need support can make a meaningful difference. You do not need to have all the answers. Often, simply noticing that someone is struggling and encouraging them to seek help is an important first step.

Recognizing the Warning Signs

Everyone has difficult days, and not every change in behavior means someone is experiencing a serious problem. However, lasting or significant changes may be a sign that additional support is needed.

Some warning signs include:

Emotional Changes

• Increased anxiety or constant worry
• Feeling hopeless or unusually sad
• Irritability or mood swings
• Losing interest in activities they used to enjoy
• Talking about feeling overwhelmed all the time

Behavioral Changes

• Frequently missing class
• Falling behind academically
• Withdrawing from friends
• Sleeping much more or much less than usual
• Ignoring responsibilities
• Taking unusual risks

Possible Substance-Related Warning Signs

• Drinking or using substances more often than before
• Needing substances to relax or socialize
• Frequently being intoxicated
• Changes in personality while using substances
• Memory problems after drinking or using drugs
• Continuing to use despite negative consequences

One warning sign alone does not mean someone has a substance use disorder. It is the pattern of changes over time that matters.

Trust Your Instincts

Sometimes you cannot explain why you’re concerned.

You simply notice that someone seems different.

If your instincts tell you something feels off, it is okay to check in.

You do not need proof that someone is struggling before showing that you care.

Starting the Conversation

Many people worry about saying the wrong thing.

The truth is that genuine concern is often more important than having the perfect words.

Choose a time when you can talk privately and without distractions.

Try using statements like:

• “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately.”
• “You’ve missed a few classes, and I wanted to check in.”
• “You seem really stressed. How are you doing?”
• “I’m here if you want to talk.”

Keep your tone calm, supportive, and free from judgment.

Sometimes your friend may be ready to talk.

Sometimes they may not.

Either response is okay.

What to Avoid

When someone is struggling, avoid:

• Judging or criticizing their choices.
• Giving ultimatums unless safety is involved.
• Trying to diagnose them.
• Minimizing their feelings by saying things like “Everyone goes through this.”
• Assuming you can fix the situation yourself.

Your role is to listen, encourage, and connect them with help when appropriate.

Encouraging Professional Support

College campuses offer many resources designed to help students.

You might encourage your friend to contact:

• The campus counseling center
• Student health services
• A trusted professor
• An academic advisor
• A resident assistant (RA)
• A coach or mentor

You can even offer to walk with them to an appointment if they are nervous.

Remember, encouraging someone to seek help is different from taking responsibility for solving their problems.

Taking Care of Yourself

Supporting someone else can be emotionally challenging.

It is important to remember that you also deserve support.

You are not responsible for another person’s recovery.

Set healthy boundaries.

Continue taking care of your own physical and mental health.

If the situation becomes overwhelming, seek guidance from a trusted adult or campus professional.

Helping someone else should never come at the expense of your own well-being.

When Immediate Action Is Needed

Sometimes a situation requires urgent attention.

If someone:

• Talks about wanting to die or harm themselves
• Appears unable to care for themselves
• Is unconscious or unresponsive because of alcohol or drugs
• Has difficulty breathing
• Is having a seizure
• Has taken an unknown substance and is not responding normally

Call 911 immediately or contact campus emergency services.

If you are unsure whether the situation is an emergency, it is always better to seek help than to wait.

Many colleges also have medical amnesty policies, which encourage students to call for emergency help during alcohol- or drug-related emergencies without fear of disciplinary action for minor policy violations. Learn your school’s policy before an emergency happens.

Looking Out for One Another

One of the best parts of college is the opportunity to build a community.

Communities become stronger when people look out for one another.

Checking in with a friend.

Offering support.

Listening without judgment.

Encouraging someone to ask for help.

These small actions can have a lasting impact.

You do not need to have all the answers.

Sometimes, simply reminding someone that they are not alone is enough to help them take the next step.

Reflection Activity

Think about the people in your support network.

• Who would I check in with if they seemed to be struggling?
• Who would I want to notice if I was having a difficult time?
• Am I comfortable asking for help when I need it?
• What campus resources are available if someone I know needs support?

Write your thoughts in a journal, notes app, or somewhere you can revisit them later.

Explore More

Seize the Awkward (Conversation starters for checking in on a friend)
https://seizetheawkward.org

The Jed Foundation
https://jedfoundation.org

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
https://988lifeline.org

SAMHSA National Helpline
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

Coming Up Next

In the final post of this module, we’ll review the key concepts you’ve learned about belonging, peer influence, healthy friendships, boundaries, and supporting others. You’ll also complete a short quiz to reinforce what you’ve learned and reflect on how these skills can help reduce the risk of substance misuse throughout your college journey.

Estimated Read Time: 5 minutes

Disclaimer

All content on the RTT Virtual Hub is provided for educational purposes only and should not be considered medical, mental health, or professional advice.